Question : Osho, i am having a great struggle deep inside me before taking the final step, but last night, when i slept in orange clothes, i felt myself a different person. What are you doing?
Osho : It is dangerous to take responsibility for you because one day things are going well, another day they are going bad. I’m not doing anything!
I have heard about a Sufi mystic who had a small school and guests used to visit him from far-away places. One day a prince came to visit him and the Sufi did not have the right pots, utensils, in which to prepare and offer food to this prince. So he went to the king and he told him, ‘A prince has come to our poor school and we will need a few pots, golden and silver, from you. We will return them tomorrow because by tomorrow morning he will be leaving.’
So he took seven pots. The next day he came with nine pots. The king asked, ‘You took only seven, why have you brought nine pots? These two small pots don’t belong to me.’
He said, ‘What can I do? Last night your big pot gave birth to these two twins. These are the twins.’ The king could not believe it, could not think that it could happen, but greed overtook him. He said, ‘What is wrong in it? This man, by some mistake, has brought these pots, so why not accept?’ He accepted. He said, ‘Very good. You are a very honest man. Otherwise who brings babies? If pots give babies, people keep the babies.’
After a month the Sufi came again. He said, ‘Again the prince has come and we need more pots because he has brought a few friends also.’ So he took almost twenty pots. But then he never came for two, three days.
The king called him, ‘What happened? You have not returned.’
He said, ‘I am sorry. Ten of them died.’
Now the king was very mad. He said, ‘Have you gone mad? How can pots die?’
He said, ‘Just think of that other time. If pots can give birth to babies, why can’t they die?’
So today it was good, but I am not going to accept responsibility because tomorrow it will be bad and then you will come to me and say, ‘Osho, what are you doing to me?’ It is you and only you. Don’t throw your responsibilities anywhere. That night you were a little good to yourself, you allowed something to happen.
I AM HAVING A GREAT STRUGGLE DEEP INSIDE BEFORE TAKING THE.FINAL STEP, BUT LAST NIGHT, WHEN I SLEPT IN ORANGE CLOTHES, I FELT MYSELF A DIFFERENT PERSON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I am not doing anything at all — it was just the gesture of wearing orange. The person is not a sannyasin yet; that is his struggle. He is thinking continuously about whether to take sannyas or not to take sannyas.
You allowed something. It was just like a rehearsal: you slept in orange clothes just to see what happens. The very idea that something was going to happen helped it happen. You relaxed in orange clothes, the mind was more at ease — at least you have done something. A very small gesture but yet you have done something. At least you decided to sleep in orange.
A person who has been continuously in conflict, for him even a slight decision gives such a relaxation that others cannot even imagine it. It will be difficult for others to see because they sleep in orange every night; they cannot believe that something could happen just because of orange.
The person who has asked the question is in deep conflict, struggle, divided. Even this small gesture helped him to relax. Even this much courage…although it was not much, because he must have put the light off so nobody could see! It was not much but still something! He took courage in the darkness of the night to become a sannyasin. He must have felt good, relaxed.
Whenever you come to any decision you feel good. And the greater the conflict, the greater the happiness that will come out of this decision. But don’t bring me in because it is very dangerous. Don’t play that game at all.
Let me tell you one anecdote. ‘Rabbi Jacobs, I need fifty dollars to get out of debt,’ sobbed Gottlieb. ‘I keep praying to God for help but he doesn’t send it!’
‘Don’t lose faith,’ said the rabbi. ‘Keep praying.’
After Gottlieb left his house, the rabbi felt sorry for him. ‘I don’t make much money,’ he thought, ‘but that poor man needs it. I’ll give him twenty-five dollars out of my own pocket.’
A week later, the rabbi stopped Gottlieb and said, ‘Here, God sent this to you!’
Back in his home, Gottlieb bowed his head. ‘Thank you, Lord!’ he said. ‘But next time you send money, don’t send it through Rabbi Jacobs — that crook kept half of it.’
So please be direct. Don’t bring me in. Otherwise some day or other you are going to be angry with me. From the very beginning it is better to be clear. This man is going to take sannyas some day — he will have to — so I have to make him completely clear that it is his decision to take sannyas, it is not my persuasion. It is his decision to jump into the fire. I will keep myself completely clear — out of it. Only then does your decision help you to crystallise. When you take it on your own, absolutely on your own, you become centred.
Sannyas will make you more free, not less. Sannyas is not a sort of slavery, it is freedom — freedom from the formalities of the society, freedom from the oppressive burdens of the others, freedom to be yourself. Sannyas is an effort to become an individual. My help is available here but it is only your decision which will change you. Even if YOU take my help, it is you who takes it. I am like a river flowing — it is your decision to drink out of me or not. It is absolutely yours, and let it be so.
It needs much courage to take all the responsibility on one’s shoulders. But that courage is a device.
Feingold, on his deathbed, was surrounded by his children. ‘Don’t worry, Papa, we’ll have a big funeral,’ declared his eldest son. ‘There’ll be a hundred limousines, ten cars with flowers.’
‘We don’t need all that!’ interrupted Feingold’s second son. ‘Fifty limos and five cars with flowers is more than enough!’
‘Whatta ya makin’ such a big deal?’ said the dying man’s youngest son. ‘We don’t need any flowers. We’ll just have the immediate family! Two cars is enough!’
At that moment, Feingold raised himself up and said, ‘Listen, boys! Just hand me my pants and I’ll walk to the cemetery!’
You have to walk! Don’t wait for one hundred limousines and ten cars full of flowers. Nothing doing. Get into your pants and walk! But be on your own. Only that way one grows. There is no other way to grow. The mind always wants to throw responsibility onto somebody else; the mind always wants to become a slave. The mind is a slave. It is afraid of freedom, it is afraid of responsibility — hence so many churches and so many organisations exist in the world, because so many people are ready to fall in their traps. In fact churches are not responsible, it is the people’s need. Because they need certain types of imprisonments somebody is going to provide them.
The economists say that in life there is a subtle law working of supply and demand, demand and supply. You demand and somebody is bound to come along to supply it. People demand slaveries for themselves — hence the existence of Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, and thousands of others who are ready to make a sheep out of you. They say, ‘Come here. Here is the shepherd’ and you become just part of the crowd.
I am not here to make you a sheep. You have been a sheep for too long already. I am here to make a man out of you. It is going to be arduous, but you have to start becoming responsible for your own life. Once you start feeling responsible for your own life you start growing, because then there is no point in wasting time in postponing, in waiting. Nobody is coming to help you. All waiting is futile, all waiting is sheer wastage.
So if there is a conflict go deep into it. Decide something. Only through decisions do you become more and more conscious, only through decisions do you become more and more crystallised, only through decisions do you become sharp. Otherwise one becomes dull. People go on from one guru to another, from one master to another, from one temple to another — not because they are great seekers but because they are incapable of decision. So they go from one to another. This is their way to avoid commitment.
The same happens in other human relationships: a man goes from one woman to another, goes on changing. People think he is a great lover — he is not a lover at all. He is avoiding, he is trying to avoid any deep involvement because with deep involvement, problems have to be faced, much pain has to be gone through. So one simply plays safe; one makes it a point never to go too deeply into somebody. If you go too deep you may not be able to come back easily. And if you go deeply into somebody, somebody else will go deeply into you also — it is always proportionate. If I go very deep in you the only way is to allow you also to go that deep in me. It is a give and take, it is a sharing. Then one may get entangled too much, and it will be difficult to escape and the pain may be much.
So people learn how to play safe: just let surfaces meet — hit-and-run love affairs. Before you are caught, run. This is what is happening in the modern world. People have become so juvenile, so childish; they are losing all maturity. Maturity comes only when you are ready to face the pain of your being; maturity comes only when you are ready to take the challenge. And there is no greater challenge than love.
To live happily with another person is the greatest challenge in the world. It is very easy to live peacefully alone, it is very difficult to live peacefully with somebody else, because two worlds collide, two worlds meet — totally different worlds. How are they attracted to each other? Because they are totally different, almost opposite, polar opposites.
It is very difficult to be peaceful in a relationship, but that is the challenge. If you escape from that, you escape from maturity. If you go into it with all the pain, and still continue going into it, then by and by the pain becomes a blessing, the curse becomes a blessing. By and by, through the conflict, the friction, crystallisation arises. Through the struggle you become more alert, more aware.
The other becomes like a mirror to you. You can see your ugliness in the other. The other provokes your unconscious, brings it to the surface. You will have to know all hidden parts of your being and the easiest way is to be mirrored, reflected, in a relationship. Easier, I call it, because there is no other way — but it is hard. It is hard, arduous, because you will have to change through it.
And when you come to a Master an even greater challenge exists before you: you have to decide, and the decision is for the unknown, and the decision has to be total and absolute, irreversible. It is not a child’s game; it is a point of no return.
So much conflict arises. But don’t go on continuously changing, because this is the way to avoid yourself. And you will remain soft, you will remain babyish. Maturity will not happen to you.
I have heard. After taking off her clothes for an examination, Mrs. Greenberg sat on the table.
‘Lady,’ said the doctor, ‘I have to tell you that you are by far the dirtiest, filthiest, most unclean woman I have ever examined in my life!’
‘How d’ya like that!’ said Mrs. Greenberg. ‘The doctor I went to yesterday said the same thing!’
‘Then why did you come here?’
‘I wanted to get another opinion!’ answered Mrs. Greenberg.
People go on collecting opinions. Be finished. Take courage. You have enough opinions with you already. Decide. One thing is certain: the past which you have lived has not been an enrichment for you, so there is nothing in deciding for it. The known has nothing to be decided for it, only the unknown. Only the unknown should have a call for you because that you have not yet lived; you have not moved in that territory. Move! Something new may happen there. Always decide for the unknown, whatsoever the risk, and you will grow continuously. But go on deciding for the known and you move in a circle with the past again and again. You go on repeating it; you have become a gramophone record.
And decide. The sooner you can do so, the better. Postponement is simply stupid. Tomorrow you will also have to decide, so why not today? And do you think that tomorrow you will be wiser than today? Do you think that tomorrow you will be livelier than today? Do you think that tomorrow you will be younger than today, fresher than today?
Tomorrow you will be older, your courage will be less; tomorrow you will be more experienced, your cunningness will be more; tomorrow death will come closer — you will start wavering and being more afraid. Never postpone for the tomorrow. And who knows? Tomorrow may come or may not come. If you have to decide you have to decide right now.
Dr. Vogel, the dentist, finished his examination on a pretty young patient. ‘Miss Baseman,’ he said, ‘I’m afraid I’m going to have to pull out your wisdom teeth!’
‘Oh, my!’ exclaimed the girl. ‘I’d rather have a baby!’
‘Well,’ said Dr. Vogel, ‘could you make up your mind so that I can adjust the chair?’
Make up your mind. Don’t go on postponing infinitely.
Source – Osho Book “Dang Dang Doko Dang”