[A sannyasin, who is going to the West to work, says: I feel very sad. There seems to be a sort of bottomless well of doubt and impatience which I can never get over.]
Osho – I understand. I have been watching it — it is there, and it is there with every intelligent person. Intelligence lives in doubt, it is doubt. Trust is very difficult. An unintelligent person can trust easily, but then his trust is meaningless.
This is the paradox of trust: trust is meaningful only when an intelligent person trusts. The idiot can trust but his trust has no value at all because he cannot doubt. His trust is impotent, it is almost mechanical. He cannot do otherwise, he is helpless. He trusts because he cannot doubt. And the intelligent person goes on doubting, he cannot trust. Doubt is impotent, so the intelligent person can go on in a vicious circle, can go on moving in the circle forever and ever, and the journey never comes to an end because one doubt creates another and so on and so forth, ad infinitum. The idiot can trust; the intelligent person cannot trust. Both are hooked into a habit, a mechanical habit.
Trust is meaningful only when an intelligent person trusts; then that is a revolution. And doubt is also meaningful when an unintelligent person starts doubting; that is a revolution. If an unintelligent person starts doubting he will become intelligent. And if an intelligent person starts trusting, he will become super-intelligent.
So I can see your problem. It will take a little time; hurrying cannot help. I can see that the impatience also is there. You would like to trust — it is not that you don’t want to trust, it is not that you are against trust but your intelligence goes on creating doubts. So I can see your conflict, your split, but this going away will be of immense help. It will give you perspective; it will give you a chance to see what your doubt can give to you.
That is the real thing to understand: what doubt can give to you. If it can give something that is valuable, it is perfectly good; I am not against it. If it can fill your life with meaning, then it is absolutely good. Go with it — it is divine. Then that is your prayer because it gives meaning to your life; anything that gives meaning to your life is prayer. But if it only promises and never delivers the goods, and it is just like a carrot hanging in front of you which goes on moving and move towards it — it only deludes, it only destroys your opportunity and your time, and you can go on moving and moving and moving and you will never arrive anywhere — if you see that, only in that seeing will it disappear. And it is going to disappear — just a little patience…
And this going away will be helpful, because here you are in too much of a hurry. You want to trust and your intelligence won’t allow you to, so you are almost in a schizophrenic state, driven in two directions simultaneously. There there will be no hurry — I will not be there and I will not create this urgency to trust, mm? Here you are continuously in a state of urgency.
That’s my field I have to create that urgency, because only when something is urgent do people start jumping into it; otherwise they can’t. If they can wait for tomorrow, they will wait for tomorrow. When they see that there is no possibility of tomorrow, only then do they take the jump. When they see that the house is on fire, really on fire, then they escape from it. And sannyas is an escape — not escape from reality but escape into reality. So the urgency is bound to be there. If you are here, there is a continuous urgency and I go on creating the crescendo of it. That is making trouble for you.
Back in [the West] you will be far away from this field of urgency. You will be able to relax and there will be no hurry and I will not be driving you so hard. You will be able to see what your doubt is doing to you, where it is leading you. Alone, relaxed, meditating, contemplating on the doubt, you will soon be able to penetrate it. It will disappear, it will evaporate, and the West will be of great help. And you will be able to compare. When you are too close, here with me, you cannot compare what is happening to you; there is nothing to compare it with. There you will be able to compare between what can happen there and what was happening here. Then things are in their right place.
Help the centre there, do a few translations if it is possible — that will be good. Meditate, relax there, and don’t be in a hurry. It may take six to nine months, and when you come back, that will be a real coming.
Source – Osho Book “The Madman’s Guide to Enlightenment”