[A group member says she has difficulty surrendering in the relationship with her boyfriend]
Osho – Tell him everything! … And tell him this also, that you are feeling difficulty in surrendering but you would like to, mm? Talking to him will help. Don’t hide it inside yourself. When you love a person you have to tell him everything. In love, no secret is allowed. Even this much privacy is not good. You should not carry your wounds alone. If he loves you he will understand.
Surrender is never easy, because the whole ego has to drop before it. Without surrender nothing is achieved – no love, no prayer, no meditation. So surrender is the key. And that’s why the whole world is so miserable – because people cannot surrender. They have missed the key. They remain beggars when they could have become emperors.
Don’t try too hard, that may have been the trouble. When you try too hard, surrender becomes more and more impossible, because – and this has to be understood – surrender cannot be willed. Will is against surrender. It is as if you are trying too hard to go to sleep. The harder you try, the more disturbed will be your sleep, because the very effort makes you more awake.
So the way to go into sleep is not to try at all. Surrender comes the same way. So just talk to him, mm? Then just lie together, cuddled, and don’t try, don’t will. It will happen… leave it to me.
Source: from Osho Book “Hammer on the Rock”