Osho Jokes
- When the kundalini rises, something just the opposite happens. An African native was bathing in the river by his village when a group of tourists arrived on the scene. They stared in awe at the enormity of his prick. The native looked back at them, embarrassed, and said, “Why is it so amusing? Don’t yours shrink in cold water?”
- “Doctor, my wife thinks she is a refrigerator.”
“Why don’t you divorce her?”
“I would but I need the ice.” - “Doctor, my girlfriend thinks she is a rabbit.”
“Bring her in. I will see what can I do.”
“Okay, but whatever happens, I hope you don’t cure her.” - The after-dinner speaker was boring and long-winded. One after another the guests nodded off to sleep at their places. The exasperated and embarrassed master of ceremonies frantically banged his gavel. In his wild banging he hit the snoring man next to him on the head. ‘Hit me again,’ said the snorer, ‘I can still hear the son of a bitch.’
- An old maid married a farmer. The first night produced no sexual activity, and none occurred for over a year. One day as she was watching the farmer plowing in a distant field, he threw down the plow and came running into the house. He rushed up to her, tore off her clothes, and laid her right on the living-room floor. Things seemed promising at that point, but about a year went by with no more sex. Again, one day as she was watching him with the plowing, he threw down the plow and came running towards the house.
Rather than have all her clothes torn off again, she undressed and found a comfortable place to lie down on the floor. The farmer burst in, took one look at her and shouted, “Get up, you sex fiend, the barn is on fire!”