Question – Beloved Osho, Please tell us a few more murphy sutras and a few murphy anecdotes too.
Osho – Gandharva, the Murphy sutras are really beautiful!
The first sutra: If wives were good, God would have one.
Second: Some people are born silly, some people acquire silliness, and some fall in love.
Third: After man came woman, and she has been after him ever since.
Fourth: Be thrifty when you are young, and when you are old you will be able to afford the things that only the young can enjoy.
Fifth: Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone.
Sixth: Heredity is something people believe in if they have bright children.
Seventh: When in Rome, do as the Romans do — eat spaghetti.
Eighth: Some men have no solution for any difficulty, but will find a difficulty for any solution.
If you don’t believe in this eighth sutra you can ask Asheesh. He is the perfect personification of this sutra! He has no solution for any difficulty, but you give him any solution and he will find the difficulty!
Ninth: There is no time like the present for postponing what you don’t want to do.
Tenth: Teamwork is essential — it allows you to blame someone else.
Eleventh: You can make it foolproof, but you can’t make it damn foolproof.
Twelfth: The height of futility is to tell a hair-raising story to a bald man.
Thirteenth: What is dumber than a dumb Italian? A dumb Indian.
Fourteenth: Adam was the happiest man on earth. Eve’s mother never told her that nice girls did not do it that way.
Fifteenth: You can’t get there from here, and besides there is no place else to go.
And a few anecdotes about Murphy….
The first: “I am getting more and more absent minded,” said Murphy to a few of his cronies. “Sometimes in the middle of a sentence I….”
“That fellow Bobo is so rude: this morning he was snoring in church!”
“Yes, I know,” said Murphy. “He woke me up!”
Murphy had recently become the father of triplets, and the priest stopped him on the street to congratulate him.
“Well, Murphy,” he said, “so the stork smiled on you.”
“Smiled on me!” exclaimed Murphy. “He laughed out loud!”
One friend met Murphy at the station. “Where are you going?” the friend asked.
“To Paris, for my honeymoon,” said Murphy.
“Without your wife?”
“Listen, when you go to Munich, do you take beer with you?”
One Sunday morning the preacher was ill and could not come to the church to perform his duties, so Murphy was doing his work. He was urging his congregation to sing.
“Now is the opportunity for all of you gifted with wonderful voices to show your gratitude towards the Lord. And for all of you without good voices, this is the time to get even with him!”
Murphy came home an hour earlier than usual and found his wife stark naked in bed. When he asked why, she explained, “I am protesting because I don’t have anything to wear.”
Murphy pulled open the closet door. “That’s ridiculous,” he said, “Look in here. There is a yellow dress, a red dress, a print dress, a pant suit…Hi Chris!…a green dress….”
And the last: The son was sitting at the bedside of the elderly gentleman, Murphy, who was dying. “Where do you want to be buried,” the kid asked, “in Forest Lawn or Hillside Memorial Park?”
The old man creaked up on his elbow and answered, “Surprise me!”
Source – Osho Book “Come, Come, Yet Again Come”