[A sannyasin wants to go home because his father is dying of a brain tumor but is still conscious.]
Osho – Then it is good – you go. And help him to die meditatively. Meditation is a bridge between life and death. It is of immense value while one is alive and it is also of immense value while one is dying. If you meditate while alive, it keeps you cool, detached; you remain the centre of the cyclone. And when one is dying, then the cyclone is at its peak. And if one can still be center, then there will be no need to be born again; the purpose of life is fulfilled.
This is the purpose: the whole of life is an opportunity to distract you and an opportunity to remain centred and not to be distracted. Life is a great challenge to disturb you. If you are disturbed, you are a failure. If you remain undisturbed, you have won, you are victorious. And the final test is death.
So just go and help him to be silent. Put music on – classical music will be of immense help; tell him just to listen to the music. Tell him just to watch his breath. Tell him to relax, not to fight with death, because death too is divine. And the western mind does not know-how to relax. It knows perfectly well how to fight; it is a warrior and it goes on fighting to the very end. Even against death it goes on fighting. When there is no possibility of winning, even then the old habit persists.
Tell him to relax. Tell him to allow death to possess him. Tell him to invite death; tell him to think of death not as a foe but as a friend. And be as happy as you can be by his side; that is the only way to say goodbye to somebody who is dying. People do just the opposite: around the dying man they become very serious, sad, in despair. They create an atmosphere of darkness. The man needs a little light. The man is going on a long journey – he needs people to give him a goodbye in celebration. But people make it very heavy. They think they are being friendly, sympathetic, but they are making his journey more difficult. Seeing their sadness he becomes more sad, starts clinging more to life, starts fighting desperately against death, thinking that everybody is so sad that death must be something very bad. Neither the people who are around know what death is nor does he himself know. This is not a good way to say goodbye.
Let there be music, let there be light, let there be laughter. Sing songs, be loving, and help him feel that he is moving into another kind of life – death is only a door. Only old garments are being discarded, and he will have better garments. If he can go laughing, then you really helped him. But this is good that you are going. Be by his side and help in any way you can.
Source – Osho Book “Don’t Look Before You Leap”