[A visitor said that while he was very happy to be here, he was missing his girlfriend.
Osho said that it was good in a love relationship for lovers to sometimes be apart so an appetite arose to be together.]
Osho – In fact the very word ’love’ simply means to desire. You may not be aware but the word ’love’ comes from a sanskrit root; the word is not basically english. It comes from a sanskrit root ’lobha’. It means to desire. Then it became loofa, and from loofa, love. But now the roots are forgotten. Lobha means to desire, to desire intensely. Love grows when you desire intensely. When you are together too much it starts dying.
Meditate while you are here, because I can give you something which is much higher than love, and without which no love can ever become real love. That’s what I call meditation. Love is a relationship between you and somebody else. Meditation is a relationship between you and you.
Love is out-going, meditation is in-going. Love is a sharing. But how can you share if you don’t have it in the first place? What will you share? People have anger, people have jealousies, people have hatred, so in the name of love by and by they start sharing these things, because that’s what they have. Once the honeymoon is over and you put down your masks and the reality comes into being and you become actual, then what will you share? You will share that which you have. If anger, then anger, if possessiveness, then possessiveness.
Then there is fighting and conflict and struggle, and each tries to dominate the other. Meditation will give you something which can be shared. Meditation will give you the quality, the energy, that can become love if related to somebody. Ordinarily you don’t have that quality. Nobody has it. You have to create it. Love is not something that you are born with. It is something that you have to create, it is something that you have to become. It is a struggle, an effort and a great art.
When you have overflowing love within you, then you can share. But that can happen only when you relate to yourself. And meditation is nothing else but how to relate to yourself. If you cannot relate with yourself, how can you expect that you will be able to relate with somebody else? So the first love is to oneself.
Then the second is possible. People rush into the second love without knowing anything about the first. So don’t be worried. Remember her. Write beautiful letters, mm? And don’t be worried about whether they are true or untrue. They should be beautiful. Write poems to her. And give one hour to her every night. From ten o’clock to eleven o’clock, turn off the lights, sit on your bed and remember her, feel her.
In your visualisation touch her body, kiss her, embrace her, and go berserk! She will never be as beautiful as in your fantasies. Real persons are never as beautiful, very rarely. Sooner or later they start stinking. But fantasy is simply wonderful. In fantasy the beloved never perspires, never argues, never nags, nothing. But be here and meditate.
Much is possible. And after the camp do a few groups. … A few groups will be tremendously helpful. You will come to many insights about your growth, about the state you are in. Because one never knows oneself rightly, and that is the first thing to be done.
Source: from Osho Book “The Cypress in the Courtyard”