Osho on unconscious search

Osho : There are a few people who have come to me not searching, just accidentally; a friend was coming and they thought, ‘Okay, let us go and see what is there.’ They were looking in a book store and they came across one of my books, and my picture attracted them; or they liked the title of the book, and they became curious, and they have come here.

But this search is very, very unconscious. You are not thinking, meditating about your life, about how it should be, what it should be, where it should go. And each desire, when it takes possession of you, becomes your master. When you are angry, anger becomes your master, takes complete possession of you. It is not that you are angry; you become anger, and you will do something in your anger for which you will repent.

And this is the irony: another ‘I’ will repent for the act of some other ‘I’, another desire, another state, another mood. Now you will suffer, and you will go and you will like to ask to be forgiven. This is somebody else; it is not the same person. Where are those red eyes, that violent face, that readiness to kill or be killed? They are all gone.

Once a man spat on Buddha; he was very angry. He must have been – otherwise it is very difficult to spit on a Buddha, looks almost impossible. How could he do it? But he must have been very angry, in a rage. Buddha wiped it with his shawl and asked the man, ‘Have you anything more to say to me?’

The man was embarrassed, he could not say a single word. He went away. The whole night he could not sleep; in the morning he came. He fell at Buddha’s feet and he said, ‘Please forgive me. it was sheer stupidity, I was mad.’

Buddha said, ‘You were not; that’s why you could do it. You were not – so don’t feel worried. You were absolutely unconscious, so you are not responsible. So don’t repent! That was some other person who had come and spat on me, you are somebody totally different. That man was in a rage, he was mad. You are same, you are touching my feet. No, no, you are both so different, I cannot make a connection.’

Man is a crowd in the state of ‘the jungle’. Many people live in you, disconnected, fragmentary. You don’t have a soul. That’s why Gurdjieff used to say a very meaningful thing – that man is not born with a soul. Man is born with many selves, but not with a soul. When all these selves melt into one, integrate into one, and all these selves are changed chemically and become one unity, then you have a soul.

When all these selves drop into the ocean, and their separateness has disappeared, and one arises, then you have a soul. All persons don’t have souls. By your birth you have not got a soul – very significant, very meaningful. One has to become a soul, one has to integrate this crowd inside, these selves fighting with each other.

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