[A sannyasin, leaving for Italy, is not sure whether to come back forever because she is expresses her creativity in writing. When she’s here she cannot write because she is always full of silence.]
Osho – Then be in Italy, mm? When you start feeling totally to be here, only then do you have to be here, not before that. Even if you feel to be there only one percent, be there. When you want to be with me one hundred percent, only then can you be with me, otherwise not.
So go and be there, create, write and fulfill your desire. When it is fulfilled and you feel that you would like to be here — when you feel that totally — then only is this place for you, not before that. Even if a slight lingering desire is there to be somewhere else, then my suggestion is: go there and fulfill it. It will be fulfilled — soon you will feel that it is gone, mm?
And remember: creativity and silence are not antagonistic; real creativity comes only out of silence. The creativity that is against silence is nothing but fever: it is the feverish activity of the mind. It is just the noise of the mind, it is not much, it has no value really. When something is born out of your silence then it has significance. And one has to live in silence before one can write or say something valuable, because only in silence do you gather, do the juices of your being become integrated… and then one day you are capable of overflowing. That is creativity: overflow is creativity, overflowing energy is creativity. One can write, one can compose, one can sculpt, one can paint, just from the mind. Then they are therapeutic. It is good therapy, art is good therapy; it unburdens you, it makes you feel relaxed.
See the point: there is a creativity that comes out of relaxation — I call it true creativity — and there is a relaxation that comes out of so-called creativity; that relaxation is only because you are unburdened. Something was haunting you — you have written it; it is a catharsis. Something was torturing you and you have painted — you have thrown it out. Now it no more haunts you, no more tortures you; you feel good. It was like a burden on your head. You have put it into a poem, into music, and your head feels unburdened, but the causes which created the burden in the first place are still there; they will create it again. Within a few days you will again be burdened, again tensions will accumulate and again you would like to do something. And always when you do something you will feel relaxed.
It is like making love. Love is also of two kinds — one, that comes out of meditation, silence, relaxation, rest; it is tantra. There is another kind of love that is known in the world — when you are too tense with sexual energy and you don’t know what to do with it and you make love. The energy is thrown out; you can fall asleep better. So many people use their lovemaking as a sedative, as a tranquilizer. It helps give a good sleep, but within two days again the tensions will be there, and again the same process… so it becomes a circle and you go on moving in the same circle. And that’s what your so-called creativity is. It is not creativity.
I will teach you what real creativity is, but for that one has to go into silence. It is so in every direction; in every creative direction these two things are to be remembered. For example, one can speak out of silence, as Buddhas speak, but there are orators who don’t speak out of silence; in fact, after speaking they feel relaxed. They have unburdened themselves. And there is a subtle law, a fundamental law of life: when you are speaking you cannot think. You cannot do two things together; the mind can either think or speak.
So people who are too burdened with thinking will always feel relaxed after they have spoken, because while they are speaking they cannot think. Thinking is nothing but speaking to yourself. What else is thinking? — speaking to yourself; it is monologue. When you start speaking to somebody else there is no need to speak to yourself, so thinking stops. Hence people love talking, gossiping. Everywhere all around the earth people are talking and talking and talking. It is a catharsis, it is therapeutic. That’s why one always feels good when friends meet and there is good conversation; after the conversation one feels very relaxed. For a few hours one really feels good, but again the tensions will be there.
But right now, go. That’s why I had given you the message: I wanted you to see exactly how much you would like to be here and how much you would like to be there. A heart that is divided will not be of much use here. But soon the moment will come when you will feel that all that creativity is nonsense; silence is true creativity. And after a great silence you may become capable one day of writing something which will be of some significance to somebody, which will become a lighthouse to those who are stumbling in darkness. Otherwise, at the most your writing can be a kind of entertainment. And unless you can write something which becomes an enlightenment to others it is not worth much.
But right now you have to go, finish your writing and desire and being there…. And be totally there for a few days, a few months, so that you are finished Soon and fast. And then come back and be here!
Source – Osho Book “God’s Got a Thing About you”