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[A sannyasin said she had been trying hard to witness, and although it gave her a headache, she
was addicted to it.]
Osho – Awareness will come, witnessing will come, but you are not to do it. When you do it, you miss the whole point of it, because when you do witnessing it becomes more like attention than witnessing. And there is a lot of difference. Attention is tension; the very word is made of tension. Attention means tension in a certain direction.
Witnessing is a non-tense state. You cannot do it. It happens, it happens while you are doing
something else but doing it so totally that it comes. It is a guest: you can only invite it but you cannot pull it. You can wait for it, you can keep the door open. And to keep the door open, the only way is to get involved in things totally. Because of this attention, you cannot get involved totally.
Mm? you are always standing aloof, trying hard. That trying hard is your undoing, so relax.
… It will happen. You just have to remember it now, mm? It has become a pattern; it will take a few days to break. Do the meditations as fun, like a small child – not like a grown-up person. Grown-up people are very dangerous people. They have not really become grown-up – they are simply tense, and they think that tension is their grown-up-ness. Deep down they have not grown, because through tension there is no growth; it is the only block.
… Do the meditations, but do them more as a play, not as a great work and great religious thing – that you are going to attain to god and nirvana and enlightenment… all rubbish! … If you go to the meditations, go only to enjoy! If you feel that if you want to enjoy yourself you will
not go, don’t go – go running, but be relaxed.
For these days that you are here you have to be utterly relaxed. Do things that you like and don’t do things that you don’t like. For your whole life you have been doing things that you don’t like and you have been avoiding doing things that you really like. That is your whole pattern.
That has to be broken now, you have to come out of this vicious circle.
Everything is possible – just your tension has to go. It is like a hard crust around you, otherwise you are very soft inside. Once this hard crust is broken and dissolved, the softness will start flowing. And there is not much trouble – just a small understanding. You are capable of it, so don’t be worried. Here, from tomorrow morning do only things that you like and enjoy. And even if in the middle of the meditation you feel that now you are not enjoying, walk out, mm? I give you total freedom.
Source: from Osho Book”This Is It”