Osho on Listening to His Discourses

Question – I used to come out of the morning discourses feeling inspired and invigorated. Now i am usually drained. I want to be alone and i go home and sleep for a couple of hours. Why is this?

Osho – You must have been using the discourses as drugs. Otherwise why should you feel inspired and invigorated? You must have used them as props, drugs, activizers.

I am not trying to inspire you here, because all inspiration, if it is really inspiration, should come from your innermost core. How can it from the outside? How can you say that you are inspired by somebody? The whole thing looks contradictory. Inspiration cannot come from outside, otherwise it won’t be inspiration. Inspiration has to bubble in your being.

If is comes from the outside then it is a drug. Then it is not happening to you, but as it happens with all drugs, soon you will get addicted to it — then it won’t affect you. Then more doses will be needed. And then the same drug which used to inspire you in the beginning, and give energy to you, will prove a drainage on your energy.

Don’t use my talks as drugs. There is no need to get inspired, all that is needed is to become more alert. Listening to me you should become more and more alert, aware. If you don’t become alert and aware, then in the beginning, for a few days, everything will be beautiful — the honeymoon period: and then, then you KNOW it. Then by and by you start feeling drained.

You go to look at a movie. Next day, see the same movie; again the third day — and you will be drained. The first day you were so inspired and you had felt so good, so full of energy, next day you know it is the same; the third day — now it has become a boredom. Whatsoever I say, though the words differ, I go on saying the same thing every day.

If you are not becoming alert soon you will be drained of your energy. My energy is the same. Use it as a jumping board, don’t use it as an intoxicant. Use me to become yourself. Don’t become dependent on me, otherwise this will happen.

This has always been happening to Buddha, to Mahavir, to Lao Tzu; this has always been a problem. When people come, in the beginning their desire is burning, their ambition is high. They think: Now something-is going to happen. Then they listen, and then they become greedy, but then they feel, by and by, that nothing is happening; they go on listening and nothing is happening; they go on listening and accumulating information and nothing is happening. Then they become dull. Then the honeymoon period is over.

Now, the dull marriage life settles; the same wife, the same husband, the same MASTER, the same disciple — things settle. But remember, when things settle only then real things start. Honeymoon is not a true picture of a relationship. Too exaggerated. Don’t believe in it. Let a few weeks pass, and then if there is love, real relationship will start — with the humdrum life, with ordinary things, and with the same person every day. If love is there then intimacy will grow; if love is not there — excitement gone; honeymoon over; marriage finished.

In fact, the honeymoon is not even over and people start thinking of divorcing. They may not divorce — that is another thing, but deep inside, when the newness is lust, excitement is gone, you start feeling: Now what is there?

Real love is known only after the honeymoon. When you come to me, in the beginning you are enchanted — with the new; inspired excited — something is going to happen. And when you remain there for a long period, every day listening to me, and things settle, then only real disciplehood starts. Then there is no excitement, and then only, intimacy grows. But that intimacy will grow only if you become aware.

Between you and me, awareness has to flow. Otherwise soon you will start feeling sleepy, drained, you will start leaving, going to somebody else, to another guru, to some other ashram — and there again the same cycle will start: you will be excited in the beginning, then dull.

I know, many of you have been to many other gurus before, I am not the first. There are people who have been to at least ten gurus. They have roamed all over the world. They have been with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, they have been with Prabhupada, they have been with Gurdjieff groups, they have been in Arica, with Oscar, they have been in many encounter groups, growth groups, EST, and thousands of things — they have tried everything. Now they have come to me. You can repeat the same cycle again. You can move in a vicious circle. Now when you come to me, drop out of the old pattern; otherwise you can go on and on — and for many lives you must have been going on this way.

Drop it! Excitement is not the thing, intimacy is. Honeymoon is useless. The real thing is to settle. Grow in awareness! I am not trying to inspire you, because all inspiration is foolish. People who inspire others are trying to force them towards some ideals. I am not trying to force you towards any ideal. I am not trying to make you into something else that you are not. What is this question of inspiration? And I am not going to sacrifice you to anything. I am not going to make you martyrs. I am not a politician! You are the goal to me. You have to discover yourself, that’s all, you are not to be something else! You have just to become more alert.

So if you are related to me by excitement, this relationship is not going to be very long. Sooner or later you will drop out of it.

It is good that now you are drained. You were doing something wrong. I am not a drug, you were using me like a drug. Now don’t use me like a drug and soon you will see that the feeling of being drained has disappeared.

Use me as a jumping board towards a higher and higher awareness. I am not saying something to you, I am BEING something to you. Don’t listen to my words, they are just playthings. Listen to me in deep silence, in deep awareness.

Be related to me. And let this relationship not be an ordinary master-disciple relationship, because that you have done many times. This time let it be really authentic, not of excitement, but of intimacy, of deep love.

Soon the feeling of being drained will disappear. And you will not be inspired, you will not feel invigorated, you will feel just yourself. Exactly as you are. You should not feel more than life size, because how can one go on feeling that? Some day one has to come back to life size. You should feel just like you are.

Source – Osho Book “Tao: The Three Treasures, Vol 4”

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