[A sannyasin keeps thinking about an experience she had when she took sannyas – an experience of seeing a light. It was beautiful but it has never happened again.]
Osho : Remember one thing: if something happens never ask for its repetition; otherwise it will never happen again. If you ask for it to be repeated, it cannot happen; if you forget all about it, it will happen many times. This is one of the fundamental laws.
When you took sannyas and something happened, you were not expecting it; it came out of the blue. You were completely innocent. Now you are knowledgeable; that is the difficulty. That is the difference that is not allowing it to happen again. But this problem arises for every person.
When for the first time something of the unknown penetrates you, you were not expecting, you were not asking, you had no idea of it. You were taken aback. You were in a kind of awe… innocent, available. Once it has happened you become knowledgeable; now you know – now you know the beauty of it and the benediction of it. You would like to repeat it, you are greedy for it; now the mind is asking.
In that moment there was no mind, hence it happened. Now the mind is there and it won’t allow it to happen. So forget all about it, and not only about this experience. On the spiritual path many experiences will happen, but once they happen, feel grateful to God and forget all about them. Never carry the idea in the mind… not even a lurking desire somewhere in a nook or comer; otherwise the greedy mind will not allow it to happen again. The mind is the barrier.
It happened for the first time because there was no mind; now it cannot happen because the mind is asking for it. And it is beyond the mind so the mind cannot do anything about it. It can only feel frustrated. When you have forgotten it, one day suddenly it will be there again. God always comes suddenly. One has to remain in a state of ignorance… one has to remain in a state of no-knowledge. So just wait!
That was just a beginning and you became too attached to it. Much more is to happen – that is nothing, that is just a drop of the ocean. The whole ocean is waiting for you, but you have become so attached to that drop that you want to repeat it. You have been caught by the mind, and the ocean is there. Forget that drop. Many more drops will come, many more rivers will pour into you, many more oceans one day will enter you.
But one has to continuously remember not to ask, not to desire. Yes, when it happens, feel grateful, thankful, and then simply forget all about it so you remain clean, you remain innocent. It was something beautiful but much more is on the way.