Osho Mulla Nasrudin Jokes :
- I have heard that one day Mulla Nasruddin came into the restaurant and declared, “My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Everybody was shocked, everybody knew his wife… he himself knew it. People gathered around him and said, “Mulla, have you had a revelation? Who told you? Has she been chosen Miss Universe? What has happened that you have to declare?”
He said, “She has not been chosen, she has told me herself. I am a faithful servant. Whatever she says I believe it. She said that she is the most beautiful woman, and I said, perfectly right; I will go and tell my friends. - It happened to Mulla Nasruddin….
He used to sleep with all the windows open — according to my advice — all the doors open…. And naturally, a thief entered, and he collected everything in the house.
Mulla was sleeping on a blanket. Seeing that the man had collected everything, he threw his blanket also on his pile. The thief was surprised. He said, “I thought you were asleep.”
Mulla said, “I was pretending.”
“You are a strange man — I am a thief.”
He said, “No worry. You can take everything away — I am coming with you. Because what does it matter in which house we live? I will live with you. And I have found a servant. I was looking for a servant, and it is so difficult nowadays to find a servant. You have come on your own. Now where is your house?”
What can people take away? Death is going to take it away at any moment. You have come into the world empty-handed, and you will go from the world empty-handed, so it does not matter. Between these two… What you have in your hands does not matter. What matters is that you lost trust, which is an immense treasure of your being.
By trusting everybody you can lose a few things. They may steal your money, but if you can continue to trust even those… trust is a great treasure. Trusting people who can cheat you, who are going to cheat you, is real trust. - Mulla Nasrudin was leaving his office at his usual quitting hour, three-thirty, when he noticed a truck-driver at the curb struggling unsuccessfully with a heavy case of books.
“I will give you a hand,” volunteered the Mulla. The two seized the opposite ends of the case and huffed and puffed several moments, to no avail.
“I am afraid it is hopeless,”gasped Nasrudin. “We will never get it on the truck.”
“On?” screamed the driver. “I am trying to get if off!” - Mulla Nasrudin was in love with a woman. One full-moon night, sitting on the beach, he told the woman, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Never has there been any woman so beautiful, never will there be ever.”
The woman was thrilled. Her ego swelled up. And Mulla looked at her — she was a transformed being, and Mulla said “Sorry, excuse me. But let me remind you of one thing: this thing I have been telling to many women before, and I cannot promise you that I will not say it to other women again. You are not the only one I am saying this to — this I say to every woman. This has been my usual practice.” - I have heard about Mulla Nasrudin, who became an atheist in his old age. One day he was trying to convert somebody to his atheism, and was very loud. Finally he said, “There is no God — and Mohammed is his only prophet.”
- I was staying at Mulla Nasrudin’s house once. The wife was saying very nasty things about Mulla Nasrudin, very angry, rude, aggressive, just on the verge of exploding, very violent. And Mulla Nasrudin was just sitting silently and listening. Then suddenly she turned towards him and said: So again, you are arguing with me! Mulla said: But I have not even said a single word. The wife said: That I know — but you are listening very aggressively.
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Once, Mulla Nasrudin was put in a mental hospital, he had to be. But just after a few minutes, he pushed the call-bell. The nurse rushed in and she asked: What is the matter? Nasrudin said: You people, why have you put me in this room with this nut? — there was another person there — Why have you put me here with this nut? The nurse said: The hospital is crowded and it is difficult to find a single bedroom for you.
And we know that he is a nut, but is he annoying you in any way? Nasrudin said: Yes, it is impossible for me to be here with him, he is annoying me. He goes on looking all around and saying: There are no lions here, no scorpions, no snakes, no tigers, no crocodiles; no, nothing is here. He goes on saying this and it annoys me. As you can plainly see, the room is full of them.