[A sannyasin said he was feeling a little apprehensive about going, saying that he hoped he would not lose that which he had gained while he was here.]
Osho – You can never lose that. Whatsoever is attained is attained forever. There is no way to fall back. If you fall back that simply shows that you were imagining that you had attained something. It was not an attainment.
If something real has happened, it has happened forever. It becomes a permanent part of your being. But if it disappears, that simply shows it was not worth much; it was just dreaming. So never be worried about it. If it disappears, good. You got rid of something which was not there. If it remains, perfectly okay. So whatsoever happens is good. The opening is real – don’t be worried. It is going to become bigger and bigger. And the fear that I see in you is not that it may close someday but that it will become bigger. That’s the real fear.
It is difficult, but that’s the real fear. And it always comes, because it means that you have to change with it. When your vision changes you cannot remain the same. And when you have to change, a thousand and one things have to be changed. You have many investments in the past – many clingings, many attachments – and when suddenly you change, everything has to be dropped. That’s a little hard but nothing can be done. Once you start seeing things, the transformation follows as a natural phenomenon.
So the fear comes. The fear is of dying to the past and being born in a new future. But just go, and continue to meditate, mm? And at least if you cannot meditate or do anything, just for one hour – and this will help – sit in the corner of the room facing the wall. Sit in the comer so that it is just in front of your eyes; very close, almost touching you.
Just look at the wall … become quiet and go on looking. There is no need to stare, otherwise that will create tension. Simply look as if not looking at all. What can you do? – your eyes are there so you go on looking. If you can sit every day just for forty minutes, the opening will grow. Then there is no need to feel any fear. Something really good is happening!
Source – Osho Book “Get Out of Your Own Way”